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Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
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2:07 am - Just a simple update
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As all of my tens of fans know, I'm into homerecording. Yes, the pathetic art of mic'ing a Gibson through a 40 watt amp into my computer and recording the god awful noise. Well, I also venture into new and coming groups. I thought I would share a band that does exactly what I do. Enjoy!
http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/273/astro1.html
Scream it Out is a killer song. I suppose this is all that's left of the underground. If you want new music, go to the source. To an area where the band doesn't get paid but performs under the pleasurable guise of making noise.
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| Wednesday, May 15th, 2002
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10:38 pm
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10:22 pm
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Just checking to make make sure my auto update thingy is working.
current mood:  mellow
current music: Quilapay?n - Chacarilla
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10:04 pm - Stolen yet another link
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I'll find some originality here somewhere. In the meantime.
What kith are you? Find out here.
Ahh, now aren't these fun.
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5:59 pm - 10yr Highschool Reunion
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I suppose I can start feeling pretty old now. The past 9 1/2 years have been such a waste. Getting out of the Navy (good thing), but then having to finish up my college degree and working at the same time should keep me pretty busy as well as taking care of my parents and grandparents. I should have just stayed in school years ago and stayed away from all those parties. I'm a sucker for a good time though.
Nothing important to say really. Just filler. Ahh, my highschool days. Trips on the Metro up to DC to watch shows at the 9:30 club. Those were the days. Beach Week at Myrtle Beach. Yanking girls out of the tub so they wouldn't drown and clothing them. Late night talks after everyone else had passed out. I could always be relied upon to be awake into the wee hours of the morning for conversation and cleaning duties. Playing in my band with the fellas after school. Ski trips up to Seven Springs, introducing the clan to Everclear Jello shooters. Leaving the keg outside, some jackass said it was empty but the next morning we found it had only frozen. Note to self, storing a keg in subzero temperatures for extended periods of time is a bad idea, yes it will freeze. Going camping, smoking too much weed and yelling at a raccoon because I thought it was laughing at me (Little did I know, that chuckle is just a sound they make). This was the first night I smoked with my ex-girlfriend. After breaking up, I never smoked weed again. Somber times. Whoa! too deep.
Fast-forward to today and it seems like another life entirely. I actually had to become responsible, what a bore. Follow the rules, clean shaven, hair trimmed and kiss all the ass you can to get promoted. Well, I don't like to follow that philosophy. Tell it like it is, take responsibility for your actions, teach others how to improve their work ethic and listen when someone has a problem has gotten me pretty far. Of course, I'm not on managements favorite list but they do come to me when they don't want smoke blown up their ass. I'll save that rant for another.
Hopefully after I get out, I'll be a little less bitter towards my surroundings and the people that I have to deal with. The military is definitely a qualude for the overall thought process. Hmmmmmm, you don't see that on too many recruiting commercials now do you. Hehee.
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| Monday, May 13th, 2002
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10:00 pm - 92 Days and counting
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Almost under 3 months until I start my life anew, outside of the Navy. What a blessing that will be. To return to Virginia, take care of the parents and grandparents, mess around on the farm and eventually build my recording studio there. Of course I haven't tols my parents yet but that's all part of the surprise. I figure I'll set it up in the barn since as of yet we don't have any horses but I figure we'll get boarders soon enough. Well, trying to get back into the LJ swing of things so I kept this short. Woohoo. Can't wait till I achive freedom once again.
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| Thursday, May 9th, 2002
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10:08 pm - Management in America
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A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on
the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak
performance before the race.
On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
Afterwards, the American team became very discouraged and morally
depressed.
The American management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had
to be found. A "Measurement Team," made up of senior management was formed.
They would investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was that the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the Americans had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering.
So, American management hired a consulting company and paid them incredible
amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat
and not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese again
next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized
to
4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant
superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance
system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to
work harder.
It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings,
dinners and free pens for the rower: "We must give the rower empowerment
and
enrichments through this quality program."
The next year the Japanese won by 2 miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor
performance,
halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all
capital investments for new equipment. Then they gave a High Performance
Award to the steering managers and distributed the money saved as bonuses.
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| Friday, November 30th, 2001
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8:47 pm - The evenings rant
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It takes quite a bit for things to piss me off to the point where I actually bitch about them. I'll take the time to vent a little. This isn't for the faint of heart so you have been warned. Here is the list.
SOME OF THE THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF
1.AOL users who send the same fucking joke you sent them a week ago and say they just found it. (not to mention having to 7 FW's in front of the subject line to let you know that you'll be opening the forward boxes for the next damn half hour just to get to it). Then they continue to send it the following week saying it is once again new to them. This goes to show they have the mental capacity of a staple gun.
2.Environmentalists from LA that think they can save the world with their clean air acts and lack of electricity. Yet they export oil yet need to import it from Alaska. Gotta love those dirty air hypocritical motherfuckers.
3.People that think they can actually talk to a person like Osama Bin Laden and convince him to be a nice person. Take your Jessie Jackson charity lovin' hippie ass to the back of the bus, enroll in a local community college and learn a little about politics, religion, and psychology. What church is that asshole a reverend of anyways?
4.Reverse discrimination and quotas. If your a moron, no matter what nationality, sex, age, color you are, you don't deserve the damn job. Case closed. If you think that's unfair, go back home and live with your parents.
5.Monopolies. Microsoft can pick the corn outta my shit. Anyone who thinks that this company is treating them fairly deserves to have their Compaq/Gateway computers taken away from them.
6.People who ask stupid questions about the computers who haven't realized there is actually a help file that answers the majority of their questions. To these people, I have only one thing to say, box your computer up, mail it back to the company you bought it from with an enclosed note stating you are to stupid to operate it.
7.People that buy shit from QVC or any telemarketing scam. I can't believe that companies make money off these stupid bastards. I know my ass is gonna have to support all 15 of their children because they'll be on welfare. At least they'll still have that Slice o' Grind o' Matic with with the weedwacker/hedgetrimmer attachment.
8.People that ask to borrow money. Fuck you, get a job.
9.People that think their time is more important than mine. Fuck you too, with a cherry on top you selfish cocksucker.
10.People that mislabel their MP3's. Since when was Windmills of Your Mind by Dusty Springfield sung by Sting? and Afternoons and Coffeespoons by Crash Test Dummies sung by REM. These people should be placing plastic bags over their heads instead of downloading MP3's. If there are any questions, see numbers 5 and 6.
11.Selfish people that steal shit. They should be nailed to giant billboards and flogged by passers by at 25 cents a swing. All proceeds will go toward lowering taxes.
12.Taxes. All you welfare assholes should stop popping out babies to increase your check and learn how to swim. 50 miles of the coast sounds like a good place for the projects, we'll send out the building material when you get a job.
13.Suits with no talent that take advantage of artists and artists that think they are better than the rest of the world.
14.Athletes. The world can only have so many sports announcers and car salesman. I can't believe people pay that much to see these bastards nowadays.
15.Slow driving assholes in the left lane that don't know the difference between the accelerator and the brake pedal. Also people that keep using their brakes on the highway and slow down traffic. Also people that cut across lanes and slow down traffic. Your sentence is to ride the short bus for the rest of your life.
16.AOL and their damn CD's that they keep sending me in the mail. I just keep sending them back as return to sender.
17.SPAM. The food and the email.
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| Sunday, November 4th, 2001
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9:22 pm - Pulling the blinders away
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The tragedy that befell all of us on September 11th shocked America. America
no longer feels safe. Many of you have said, "The government should have
known! 30 Billion Dollars is spent on intelligence! What about the
Military!?"
Just a reminder, America, you voted our Clinton government into office. For
years you allowed some dishonest politicians and twisted television media
personalities to shape your ideas about the defense of our nation. Why?
Because most Americans were too lazy to look beyond the three minute
sound-bites on the evening news. Here's a news flash not being broadcast
much: "On September 11th, America had the exact level of protection, both
military and intelligence, that it was willing to pay for".
Only yesterday the Congress and the Senate approved 40 BILLION dollars as a
"Down Payment" to fight this War. A short time ago, our politicians said a
100 Million dollar increase for the Navy budget was substantial. In that
same bill they ordered the Navy to conduct an 85 Million Dollar Study
on.......Breast Cancer research. Yes, America, your elected officials
decided that the US Navy needed more mammograms and fewer missiles. Was this
an under the table sneaky move? No, it was right out in the open. The
Secretary of Defense and the Secretary of the Navy both opposed it. A New
York Senatorial Candidate (Yes, she's the one) was enraged that the Military
would be so sexist and irresponsible to the needs of civilians and wanted
the Navy to give the money back immediately! But the media paid it little
mind. So, America paid little attention. Did any one ever watch CSPAN?
Particularly when the Heads of our Armed Services essentially begged OUR
representatives to give the Military more money to fight terrorism and
maintain a strong defense? Did you see the debates by the Heads of the
Intelligence Services that terrorism was the new threat? They told the
committees of Congress that the CIA, the FBI, and the Service did not have
the money to build the necessary intelligence networks in the areas where
terrorists were being harbored. They warned again and again that there was
clear and present danger within America's borders. Americans must have been
watching one of their other 114 satellite channels.
The Military said: "We need more money to maintain military readiness and
Combat Training."
America Answered : "What the Military needs is Sensitivity Training! You're
all sexist homophobes! I saw it on 60 Minutes!"
The Military said: "We need money to build ships, planes, tanks, and improve
our technology. America still has credible threats throughout the world.
Terrorism will come to America's doorstep."
America Answered: "You're all part of a vast right-wing conspiracy. There is
no more Soviet Threat! My Senator told me so! He/She says we do not need
such a big military! You're dinosaurs trying to hold onto the Cold War! We
need Social Programs!"
The Military said: "We need to recruit more Americans into the military. We
need to increase our force."
America Answered: "You're not taking my kids! We're going to shut down the
ROTC programs at our high schools and universities, because you discriminate
against alternative lifestyles! ROTC teaches CHILDREN (under 21) how to
shoot guns! You just want another Columbine! Rosie and Oprah say so!"
The Military said: "We can't keep interfering in the civil wars of small
insignificant countries. It wastes our time, expends our resources,
decreases training, and demoralizes our troops. The men and women of the
United States are Warriors trying to defend OUR nation, we are not the third
world's police force."
America Answered: "You heartless bastards! Can't you see the tear in the eye
of that starving child!?! There are flies on her face for Christ's Sake! Get
Moving! Jesse Jackson on CNN said that is what we pay you for!"
The Military Asked: "Why isn't America enraged over the terrorist attack on
the USS COLE that killed seventeen AMERICAN Sailors? How about the Air Force
barracks bombed in Saudi Arabia? The embassy staffs in Africa? The Soldiers
mutilated and dragged through the streets in Somalia?"
America Answered: "We don't have time right now! We're busy defending Animal
Rights! Our schools are handing out automatic weapons! The federal
government is discriminating against cross-dressing Bolivian hermaphrodites!
The police are all members of the Ku Klux Klan! The lack of Ozone is ruining
my tan! If they cut deeper into Food Stamps those poor women will have to
move down to Size 18/20 dresses! AND THE WORST! Corporations are raising the
prices of their products sooo high I might not be able to afford the
multi-disc DVD Player for my 36'" digital-ready TV! Besides, YOU GUYS ARE
PAID TO DIE!
So, America, while you sit on your couch or around your office coffee pots
and ask, "Why did those terrorists kill innocent civilians? Why didn't they
go after the Military?" remember this, America: They already had, but
America didn't care. These Terrorists realized that they needed to kill
American Civilians, and lots of them, before they could have their desired
reaction from the people of this country. Well, now they have it.
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| Monday, July 23rd, 2001
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11:34 pm
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I've known too many people that get divorces for no apparent reason. From trivial arguments to infedility, it never ceases to amaze me. Somehow, today people believe that marriage is barely a step up from dating. If people hold their values that low, then I want no part of it. Let's face it people, we aren't perfect. If you haven't learned by now that people make mistakes then you should probably look back on your own perfect life and see who sculpted it for you. Desire and devotion are fleeting thoughts in an age where convenience and social status reign amongst throngs of commercial lemmings. I consider my self one step lower than the mediocrity that surrounds me, only because I don't have the companionship that they do. But why would I want it after the things that I have seen. I'm the guy the the divorcee goes to for a place to stay. I'm the guy that gets told that He/She is cheating. I'm the guy that has to make the decision between morals and friendship. A common misnomer is that single people have it easy. This, however, is in fact the opposite if you actually try to help people. Single people are actually the pawn that provide help, yet are always the scope of most blame that tears marriages apart. Case in point. I don't want you hanging out with him anymore because he is single and he goes to strip bars and he is a bad influence on you. I have actually heard someone say this about me, which is surprisingly untrue. Are people that insecure about their own relationships that they discredit others to make themselves feel better? Well, yes. More so than you think. That friendly neighbor that always invites you over but ends the parties early is more than likely scoping out the territory than actually being the open hearted person you expect. People try to get to know you so that they can use you and manipulate you. Only a person with their eyes open will see this coming which unfortunately makes up about 10% of the population. I think I ranted enough for now, enough anyways to lock up LJ for the next couple of days. Well, at least I also threw in a poem as a little eye candy to go with. I wasn't bitter when I wrote it, just at a little REM/Tori Amos influence.
Living a life along a masochistic bow
I'm strung out
and leaning against
the very line that draws my feelings tight
against an endless wall of echos
I feel cold
I'm yearning to
break out of this shell and I will
When I feel lonely I can think about
the things we used say
the simple things
and the feelings they brought out
and when we're old
we could always laugh about it
even though I never saw you
But I always see you
But you could never see me
In fantasy I saw you again
so happy
but you were missing
somehow hollow and I can't explain
So I say that I gave you away
it was my choice
but I sit here lying to myself
and tragedy evolves from loneliness
If you ever felt I owned you
you have got me wrong
I only wish I had
my grip on you
could never be that strong
so I will sit here till my dying days
and tease myself waiting
enjoying misery and happiness
of the day that you left me
And I'll sit here waiting till my heart comes around
And I'll cherish every thought and every sound
And I'll walk along this dusty road alone
And I'll always yell out to your heart
will you please come home...................................
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Pixies - Break My Body
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| Friday, July 20th, 2001
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7:55 pm
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Well, another day in the wonderful life and things are a little less dull. Another weekend for y'all and the beginning of my work week. Don't really have too much to say right now other than I'm relaxing to a little classical music now. Well I should say I was. Chopin, Rach, with a touch of Pachabel. In need of a little pick me up, I always turn to the Marche Slave. Only wish that I had a stereo to do it justice. Knowing my dumb ass, I'll probably have something more profound to say later on in the evening.
current mood: ambivolent
current music: Tchaikovsky - Marche Slave, Op. 31
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| Tuesday, July 17th, 2001
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1:25 am - A Woman Named C
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So I met a girl
and she speaks in gold laced tongues
through crimson hues of self doubt
with exploding emotion
She of course denies it
yet she is so full of wonder
where the flowers collapse at her feet
and Eros touches her cheek and smiles
With a sinister smile and tight arms
a grasp only loosens her grip
if she only let go
her prize would come near
as do many of our earthly possesions
we cling too hard
tending to suffocate that which we covet
hence they leave us alone
So talk in simple tongues
and simple desires
and express the force of your infatuations
in the words that you so proudly speak.
Dedicated to an immaculate woman that I won't dare share the pleasure of her aquaintance just yet.
current mood:  creative
current music: 10,000 Maniacs - Everyday Is Like Sunday
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12:18 am
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Missing you for miles
and I only wish, that you could really hear me
and I terrorize myself
into believing that, this is all you see
And I stay silent
every passing day, the urge grows stronger still
to throw these musings
upon your open heart, waiting for those words but I will wait until
The solemn whispers
of a distant dream, a distant heart
the hidden killings
of a weeping soul, and why are we apart
I'll never understand your voice and what it did to me
I'll never place your words and find my own serenity
So could I love you
what words would simply open up my eyes
to be less timid
My strongest walls have never been so wise
And yet I take
more than you ever thought you could ever give
and I'd steal away
the very things, but I would let you live
I will sit and wait
by the wayside of your trembling
watching closely
to the timbered words and what they've come to start
The solemn whispers
of a distant dream, a distant heart
the hidden killings
of a weeping soul, and why are we apart
I'll never understand your voice and what it did to me
I'll never place your words and find my own serenity
So, tis all
current mood: missing
current music: MXPX - Barbie Girl (Cover)
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| Saturday, July 7th, 2001
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8:51 pm
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Well, after a long time away, I'm guess I better dust off the old Live Journal and start writing again. These past weeks have been pretty stressful both at work and at home. The Shipyard management doesn't know it's asshole from a hand grenade, but I finally got promoted to weekend supervisor so maybe I'll make a little difference. At home, well not really at home, at my folks place is where all the action is. My parents are looking to buy a 74 acre farm in the Shenandoah Valley (Front Royal, VA) to the happy tune of half a million smackaroos. This means I've spent the last three weeks telling my parents it's alright to spend a portion of my inheritance on something that they have always wanted, and hopefully will get. I haven't seen the place, except in photos, but it has an old estate house, a giant barn, varoius utility buildings, and an awful lot of quiet. I told them to spend everything if they really wanted it, because I rather them die happy, then to save up trying to make me happy. Also, I wouldn't mind inheriting the farm either. That sounds sinister but I have the same mindset as my folks so it's really not that bad. Well, that's enough for one night, so cheers to all one of you that actually reads this thing excluding myself, and hopefully something original will find it's way out to the languished souls and undead poets. Oh yeah, I'm not a hick dammit!
The song is dedicated, you know who you are
current mood:  sympathetic
current music: Smiths - Girl Afraid
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| Saturday, June 9th, 2001
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9:46 pm
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Note to self: Next time I promise to make a personal mix for someone, kick yourself in the nuts. The pain will be less and won't last as long. After a quite a few weeks of retrieving a certain someone's songs, I am now normalizing/filtering/mixing to the point where they are actually bearable to listen to. Actually, I really enjoy this. Gives me something to do. That and the fact that I have a Roland XP-80 on the way to go along with my Cakewalk, I am quite content. My next mission is to orchestrate my Grandfathers MIDI files from Sibelius and remaster/enhance them for another CD. The only reason I mention this is because of a post from a good friend. My Grandfather is an incredible musician (with a baby grand Steinway which I hope to inherit) who also served in WWII as a chemist and still does as a part of NRL (Naval Research Laboratories). He actually has a NAVY firefighting award named after him and continues to work after being forced to retire at the grand old age of 75. A role model would be an understatement. Anyways, I want to remix most of his concert piano songs to a full philharmonic orchestra before he passes. That is my main drive. I have never been good with words and I feel this is a way to express how I really look up to him. It's my way of saying "Hello in there". He also has an annual piano recital at Hood College in his name, as well as an international pianist, Dr. Lester, playing and recording his music. If it sounds like I'm bragging it's because I am. I am so envious of everything that he was and is. Some day, maybe I will be able to contribute half of the things that he has. Back to work.
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| Sunday, June 3rd, 2001
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11:49 pm
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Well, aside from fiddling around on the keyboard, I have to pick up a couple of MIDI cables tomorrow at good 'ol Radioshack. Then I oughta be good to go. Looking through the program though, it is really gonna kick ass. Oh yeah, and for a certain individual out there, I'm nearing completion of a certain Tori Amos compilation thanks to Morpheus. Be patient girl, and hope all is well on your front.
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| Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
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9:44 pm
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I have to admit that I'm pretty excited right now. I just got my hands on Cakewalk Pro Audio and a MIDI keyboard. I've always wanted to compose music but have been really lazy in terms of writing tablature. Hopefully this will provide a good kick in the butt. Circumstances like this just beg for an all-nighter. Will write more later, well words anyways. HeHe.
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| Wednesday, May 30th, 2001
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10:03 pm
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So I return again from the endless world of a silent slumber. Thrown into another mood of dissipation and self loathing, hence another entry in this electronic psychiatrist of abivolence. The subject for this entry would be dwelling on the past. It is a well known fact that I desire nothing in the physical aspect of life. I will not bore you with the reason as to why these ideas came about. I live a life of abstract Escher worlds from black to white and through the many shades of grey. I've read many elegant tapestries of woven words from friends I have met online. These are truly great people. In this world, as it is today, loneliness is now next to godliness. Have you ever had the feeling that you denied yourself of pleasures because the pain felt better than having to open up to someone? This briefly describes the limbo in which I reside. Without going into a tormented bible of despair, I'll end it here. The journal that is! Maybe it has something to do with the fact of just watching Girl, Interrupted. Who knows, along with reading House of the Dead and Alice In Wonderland/Through The Looking Glass (again). That's almost like a case of beer and a bottle of aspirin. Well, it could also be the fact that I'm reading eleven other books at the same time that's warping my sense of reality. Well, that's it for the night.
current mood: Distant
current music: Dido - Thank You
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| Saturday, May 19th, 2001
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2:21 am
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Just a littel thought from my days of staying up really late at parties. I used to stay up after most people went to bed or passed out, and just talked. In my mind, that was probably the easiest way to express my/our ideas and pass the time as well. I've always been a nightowl, sometimes talking my mothers ear off into the early hours of the morning. That was years ago, yet she still reminds me of it to this very day. We would go back and forth questioning each other on the topic at hand, and then express our views on it. We didn't always agree, but the fact she stayed up and just talked was really cool. I take way to many things for granted, but that is one thing I'll never forget.
Between the hardlines of thought
Across the bonfire we duel
I love you for your ideas, and I mine
Into the weak hours of the morning
We build the strength in hour ideas
as the others rest, the words come alive
sculpting worries and cares
forming images of desires
Grateful to be free from the restrictions of a day
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| Monday, May 14th, 2001
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9:17 pm
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Water marks stain the mantle piece from glasses overfilled
Hatred stains my conscience, leaves my shadow unfulfilled
The tainted light refused, just recently to follow
It tried to steal my soul away and tried to leave me hollow
Half a person once, now half a person again
I recognize the emptiness that feeds my poison pen
As broken glass glass surrounds me, broken shards are at my feet
and echos carry on the wind of people from the street
An awful noise, it takes command, when one man moves to speak
But how they follow, soft and borrowed, making buildings creak
Hoist a banner over Baron Street and people will parade
At all the things you've done for them, for all the things you've made
But that in turn is all disguise 'as they're too blind to see
The rules keep changing, rearranging defining hypocrisy
Many, many years from now with faces looking back
Questions will come pouring in from both sides of the track
And easily they will answer what the ancients never knew
Why the color of the flag is red, white, ........and................blue
current mood: mystical
current music: The Smiths - A Rush and a Push and the Land
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evildick23's journal